Why should we forgive?
Whoa now that is the question...
Why should you forgive someone for what they have done, or for what they haven't done?
Why should you just let them off the hook for treating you the way that they did?
Isn't that like giving them a free pass?
Why should I forgive someone and make it that easy for them, when they have made it so difficult for me?!
First we need to start with the definition of forgiveness.
From the Merriam Webster Online Dictionary :
: to stop feeling anger toward (someone who has done something wrong) : to stop blaming (someone)
: to stop feeling anger about (something) : to forgive someone for (something wrong)
: to stop requiring payment of (money that is owed)
Note how the first two definitions start with "to stop feeling anger"
Yes you are angry, yes what happened was hurtful, but when you hold onto that...YOU are the person who feels the pain.
YOU are the person who continues to hurt, not them!
I am not saying you should just not feel the anger, because you should. Acknowledge it, know it, feel it, but not for too long. It is okay to be mad, but you gotta let it go... It's for your own happiness.
I love the last definition, "to stop requiring payment of..." Wow think about that in the sense of you forgiving that person who did you wrong. When you forgive them, you can stop requiring payment from them, the payment that you will probably never receive.
Maybe that payment is an apology, and once you can accept the apology that you may/will never receive, you will be free.
Here's the next excuse I hear....and boy do I LOATHE excuses!
*(BONUS SIDE RANT)*-Okay so I may do a lot of complaining and whining in my everyday life, but once I find myself making excuses... I have got to stop myself.... What good are excuses....NO GOOD!! If you have a problem with something, CHANGE IT! I may complain about things and wish for change, but instead of making excuses for myself or for why things aren't the way I want them to be, I have to try and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! Otherwise what is the point of complaining... to make you feel better about how crappy something is... yeah that works... good luck with that...
okay now back to your regularly scheduled blog post.......
Sorry about that, where was I... oh yeah, here is another excuse I hear about why we shouldn't forgive people for what they have done....
It's the principle, they should apologize because it's the right thing to do.
I should not forgive them, because of principle, it would be wrong for me to 'give in' like that....
Pardon my abbreviations, but seriously.
First of all, your 'right and wrong' obviously don't match up with the other person's 'right or wrong' or you wouldn't be in this position in
the first place.
So in order for you to make that person see that they are 'wrong' you would have to change that person... again, good luck with that!
So in speaking of principle, when it comes to your life and your happiness and your beliefs, how would you rather spend your time?
1. Waiting in anger and with contempt, for the other person to change their life in order to suit your 'rights and wrongs.'
(please don't hold your breath)
2. Releasing the anger you feel toward them, by forgiving them.
Which in turn would change YOUR life and increase your happiness principle.
Choose to forgive. Do it for you. Give yourself the chance to breathe. Set yourself up for happiness.
Whether you forget, or choose to remember, forgiveness comes first!
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